"Children's children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6.
A Special Night
We, the members of the Tapestry Group, were all standing together, ready to sing. Before us sat a large group of elderly people, eagerly awaiting our song. Mr. Holland stepped up to the microphone to introduce us and make a few opening comments. In his address he mentioned that he had never before been in that building - the local Senior Citizens Center. An old man with a remarkable sense of humor yelled out, "In forty years, you'll live here." Everyone in the room laughed. That's where we left off in my recent reflection about singing in the Schuylkill Chorale, which taught me too much to be included in a single reflection. It was a very special night - one that I will never forget. It is a memory that I will cherish always, yet I almost missed it. The reason why I almost wasn't there is a story in and off itself.
Mean Girls
In 2004, the movie "Mean Girls" came out. It was about teenage girls and cliques. When I first saw it, I thought it was silly. The majority of its audience did not feel the same way. It was explosively popular, inspiring a sequel, a remake and a musical with the same name. Why was it so popular? Could it be that most of us can relate to the plot because we've all had at least one or two real-life experiences with mean girls? Mine took place in the Schuylkill Chorale.
Several girls in the Chorale were repeatedly getting frustrated with me for my poor singing ability, and were quick to point out my short-comings. "You're not supposed to be singing now!" an unidentified girl in my journal is quoted as saying. I usually don't include real names but I have to this time because of how ironic it was. One of the girls who was frequently giving me frustrated looks had the same name as my mother - Marcia! Marcia made a comment as we practiced for the winter concert that I was singing an octave too low for the song. I got flustered because I didn't know what she was talking about or how to correct it. Marcia eventually had a change of heart toward me and we became friends during the Spring semester. That was not so for a girl I will call Melody Shane. Melody had a beautiful singing voice, but she wasn't a very nice person, at least not to me. I can't remember anything she actually said. I just know that it made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't stand to even be around her. I wrote in my journal that she purposely made a fool out of me several times. What was particularly hurtful was that she seemed to be extremely nice to everyone else, but around me she gave off quite a different vibe. Melody either acted as though I was invisible or she spoke to me in a very unpleasant tone. I have no idea what she had against me other than the fact that I couldn't sing. The final straw was when we were lining up on the bleachers getting ready for the winter concert. I made some type of mistake and in response, she jabbed me in the side with her elbow.
Mr. Holland's Advice
The next morning, I went to see Mr. Holland. I told him that I would not be attending in the Spring because of my commitment to work with the Psychology professor. That being the case, I asked him if it would be okay if I stopped attending the Tapestry performances. I explained about my difficulties with reading music and singing in the right pitch and how the girls were reacting to it. I didn't mention any names, but somehow, Mr. Holland knew who I was talking about. He said he was aware of the difficulties that I was having vocally. "If you were to continue next semester, I would teach you how to sing like a girl." He said, bluntly. He was also blunt however, about his impression of Melody Shane. "My feelings get hurt by Melody, too". He said. "I feel hurt because she would rather sit in the student lounge and play cards than to attend my Music 5 class. You don't need to feel bad around Melody," He went on. "She may be able to sing, but you probably have a better grade point average than she does, that is, if you have a good grade point average."
He said that it was perfectly fine for me not to attend the rest of the performances. "The only requirement to obtain credit for the semester is to attend the Winter Concert, and that's already over, so you do not need to be there if you do not want to be." Mr. Holland told me. "However, I really wish you would continue to attend them. The whole purpose for us getting together to do this is to have a lot of fun. That's the way I feel about singing. It's not about having the perfect pitch or hitting the right notes all the time. It's about having fun. So, why don't you think about it over the weekend, and if you change your mind, I'll see you on Monday night at the Senior Citizens Center." I agreed to do so. "Oh, and don't forget about the party at my house on Tuesday night." He reminded me. I thought about what Mr. Holland said and it made a lot of sense. I realized that if I dropped out, it was just giving the mean girls more power. I decided to attend the remainder of the performances for that semester, as well as the party at Mr. Holland's. There was only one problem. I didn't know where the Senior Citizen Center was!
"If nothing is going well, call your Grandmother." (Author unknown).
Because my father had to work on Sunday, he and my mother and I would always attend mass on a Saturday night. On the way to church we would pick up Grandmom Myers who would attend mass with us. Afterwards we would all go out to dinner. That weekend I asked Grandmom if she knew where the Senior Citizen Center was. It was like asking an Eskimo where you could find an igloo! "Well, of course, I know where it is," she said. "I go there all the time." Oh Yeah....Grandmom was a senior citizen! Why did I not make that connection sooner? It wasn't that I thought she sat in a rocker knitting all day. I just never thought about what was on her social calendar, or if she even had one. The reality is that our grandmothers had just as much need for friendship and fun activities as we, the young people, did. We actually had a lot in common with them, though most of us didn't realize it at the time. Grandmom asked why I was asking about the Senior Citizen Center. I said that I would be singing there on Monday night. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she told me that she was planning to be there with her friend, Catherine! She couldn't wait to hear me sing! Knowing that, I became ecstatic! Now I had a reason for going!
As I stood with the other singers on Monday night, I didn't have the slightest concern about what Marcia or Melody thought or did. The only thing I was thinking about that night was singing for Grandmom. Her opinion was the only one that mattered. My eyes searched the audience for her. Then I saw her and Catherine together, in the middle of the crowd, looking up and waving at me. They were looking at me as if I was the most beautiful thing they ever saw. I waved back. I knew that Grandmom would not care what pitch I sang in. She would not care how many notes I missed. She wouldn't even care if I was singing the wrong parts at the wrong times. She just wanted to hear me sing. I was her beautiful grandbaby, all grown up, and she was so proud! It is one of the most cherished memories that I have. It was one of those experiences that clarified what was really important in life, and what was not. Thank God I didn't quit before that night!
We sang about five Christmas songs. Mr. Holland then stepped forward again, to make a few comments before we continued. "You are a very attentive audience," He said. "I can't imagine sitting through five songs in a row." The old man with the remarkable sense of humor then said, "Buddy, when you get this old its hard to move!" Everyone in the room was then roaring with laughter. It was a beautiful sound - the very old and the very young laughing together at something they both thought was funny. It was an beautiful sight - Grandmom sitting there with her peers watching me standing there with mine. As Mr. Holland said, the most important thing was that we were all having fun.
I have no record of the exact date of that performance. If I am remembering correctly, it occurred in the second week of December, which would have placed it on the eve of Grandmom's seventy-sixth birthday! Grandmom's birthday, December 10, is approaching again. She is no longer with us physically but she still occupies a big space in my mind and heart. I couldn't think of a better way to honor her on her birthday than to write this story and pass it on to others.
"Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." Thessalonians 5:11.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8.
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