"Two Wrongs don't make a right." That's what my mother always said.
A few weeks ago, a story in the news about two women affected me deeply, because it is not just a story about those two women, it's about ALL OF US. The story caused me to think harder than I ever thought before about all kinds of things like feelings, faith, forgiveness and love.
September 30, 2026 - that was the day that a woman named Christa Pike was scheduled to be executed in the state of Tennessee, but that wasn't the day that she died. Somehow, for reasons that we still don't understand, this woman survived not one but two lethal injections. It still looked bleak for her after she was taken to the hospital and placed on a ventilator. Less than a week later she was declared brain dead, and there was talk about pulling the plug as they would consider doing in the case of anyone in that situation. But a day or two after that Christa woke up and began talking. Not long after, she was released from the hospital and sent back to prison.
The people began to react, which created a story in itself. "What went wrong?" They asked. "How were the people involved so incompetent that they couldn't even be successful in killing someone?" Some people had compassion for Christa, thinking that what she had been through was perhaps worse than death. Other people became enraged. "How could anyone have sympathy for a person like her? Has everyone forgotten about her victim, Colleen Slemmer, who Christa tortured and killed thirty years ago? What about the victim's family?" They asked, "This family will never have closure!" They referred to Christa as a monster.
Hatred started pouring out of people's mouths. The comments on Facebook were horrendous. Some people said that executions should not have to be humane. Others just said things like, "Finish the job.", "They should have just let the open population take care of it", "Just pull the damn plug", "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." The hatred was first aimed at Christa, then it spilled over into the population of people who were sympathetic toward Christa. One woman was told that she should be tortured and killed like Colleen just because she supported Christa. Some people actually began getting death threats just for saying anything defensive of Christa. One man said that death threats were made on him and his entire family, including children. Who's the monster now? Some people, including me, began to ask, "What is becoming of us?"
Arguments About Anger and Parental Love
I have been telling clients for years not to get involved in arguments with extremists on Facebook. You won't convince anybody of anything. It is just going to get both of you more and more upset. Maybe that is still true, but I couldn't help being sucked in by what I was reading. I just had to say something.
"Christa will be judged for what she did but we will also be judged for what we did. When we return torture for torture we are no better than she is. Both Christa and Colleen are children of God and are loved by God. We can have sympathy for Christa without forgetting about Colleen. We can care about both of them. But if we let our hearts grow cold with hatred and vengeance, what's going to happen to us?" I thought that what I was stating was just common sense. Other people did not think so.
Someone sarcastically responded, "Well, it obviously wasn't your daughter or your family member who got killed! How would your heart feel then?" How would I feel? I would be enraged! I would feel like killing the woman myself! Believe me lady, I have felt that way in response to offenses that were a lot less serious than this! But here's the thing - do my feelings have to dictate my actions? And even if I did feel that way, even if I acted that way - would that make it right???
Was I supposed to come to a conclusion about this situation based on anger and rage? In an instant everything that I had ever been taught about anger was turned upside down. What happened to the idea that you can't make good decisions when you are flooded with anger? What happened to the advice that when you're feeling that way you should take some time to calm down before acting? How many times have we come to regret what we did or said in anger?
"No, it wasn't my daughter", I replied. "It also wasn't my daughter who's execution was botched. How would you feel if Christa were your daughter? Maybe you would hate what she did. Maybe you would even think that she deserved what she got, but if she were your daughter........... could you ever stop loving her?"
Shooting People With Bible Verses
Then people started bringing out the big guns - shooting Bible verses at each other. Someone responded to my original post with Leviticus 24:19-20: "If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured." What did I say that she was responding to? It must have been that if we return torture for torture we are no better than her. Was this woman using the Bible to support torture?
People take this quotation completely out of context. They use it to support revenge but the purpose for the quote was actually meant to limit it. It was meant to make punishment fair and fitting to the crime. It was to stop people from taking more than an eye in return for an eye. That's the thing that can happen when people are guided only by feelings and not principles. I responded with Matthew 5:38-39 "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." Then I added Matthew 43-45 to the mix: "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven."
Faith or Fantasy?
Suddenly in the middle of the arguments that dozens of us were having about faith and how it affected this situation, someone came along and started challenging the faithful. A woman tried to provide some consoling words about the victim, saying that she was in a glorious place now. "How dare you say she is in a glorious place!" Another woman told her, outraged. "Do you think that her mother thinks that she is in a glorious place? Unbelievable!" I responded by saying, "Which part do you not believe in - heaven, that heaven is a glorious place or that this girl who was killed is there? Don't criticize someone for having faith. It is the only thing that can truly give someone peace in this world of horrors and uncertainties."
An Act of God or the Devil?
Things were said sometimes that were completely ridiculous. Somebody said that somehow Christa and her lawyers conspired to come up with a plan to make her survive the execution. Come on!!!
The only sense that I could make out of what happened was that it was a shear miracle, and that brought me great joy. Somehow, someone was able to beat the ultimate enemy of the entire human race which is death. It didn't matter who it was - it just mattered that it happened. When something like that happens to one of us, it is a message of hope for all of us. God has control over death, and He, not the government, is the one who is really in charge!!!!! How can we not be happy about that? Other people saw it in the same way. "God is giving her a second chance." Many of them said. Others refused to see it in that way. Some people seriously believed that it was the devil and not God who caused her to survive. Somebody said that the devil is capable of performing miracles for evil purposes. Really? The devil has that much power? Then why did he wait all this time to start using it? My response to them was: How convenient to blame the devil for things not going your way!
Forgiveness Optional?
The last straw and the wildest one was the statement that the Bible only requires us to forgive those who repent. I've been alive for almost sixty years. I attended mass almost every Sunday and went to a religious high school for four years, and this is the first time that I have ever heard of something like that. I did my research though, and yes, there are some Christians who interpret the Bible as meaning that you only have to forgive someone who "repents". They get this from the Luke 17:3: “If your brother or sister[a] sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” The interpretation comes from the words 'If they repent'.
Somehow that legalistic interpretation didn't seem to fit well with my own experience of life. We all have hurt and been hurt by others. The people that we are most likely to hurt and be hurt by are the ones who are closest to us. I could remember lots of times when hurtful things were done and said in my family circle. They were not always followed by a specific apology, but we still forgave and got past things because the good things done by that person far outweighed the bad ones. And besides - we loved them! Is the same God who is telling us to forgive someone seven times a day telling us not to forgive them at all if they do not specifically say, "I'm sorry"?
Two Wrongs - A Story About Us - Introduction for my FB Page
Right and wrong. Feelings and Actions. Principles. Anger. Personal integrity and character. Justice and revenge. Forgiveness. Love. God. The legal system. The Bible. Christianity. Miracles. Psychology. Respect. Those are all of the things that I have been reflecting on over the past few weeks. Those are all of the things that I have been reflecting on more deeply than ever before. The reflective journey did not begin with the news about Christa Pike. It began when people started reacting to the news about Christa Pike. Hatred started pouring out of some people's mouths, not just toward Christa, but toward anyone who said anything defensive of her. Several people talked about getting death threats just because they expressed support for her, even though they clearly acknowledged that she did a horrific thing. They received death threats even though they clarified that they were not saying that she should not be punished for what she did. One man said that someone threatened his innocent children because of something he said about Christa. At that point, I realized that this was not just a story about Christa and her victim, Colleen. It was about all of us. That being said, I had to ask, "What the hell is happening to us?"
I decided a long time ago not to engage with extremists about controversial issues, but this time the rhetoric was so bad that I had to say something. It was like being in a virtual boxing ring. I would react to their comments and they would react to mine. I would be quick with a come back. What were we arguing about? All of the concepts listed above. Yes, the discussion had become about a lot more than what should happen to a woman who survived an execution.
What I didn't realize in the moment is that every time someone challenged me, it forced me to think a little more deeply about what I was saying. It prompted me to seek more information about the things that they were saying. I actually did research! I also went on an inward journey to determine what life experiences influenced me to step into that "boxing ring" and take the position that I did. I thought about what might have influenced someone to take the opposite position. It is difficult to explain what happened as a result. See, my overall position on this particular case did not change. Yet, somehow, from going through all of that, I have become a different person.
I would like to share some of the reflections that have come out of this journey, but it's too much to fit into a single post. Some of the thoughts expressed will make reference to the story about Christa Pike and Colleen Slemmer. Some of them will not. My purpose at this point is not to change anyone's overall position on this case. It is just to encourage them to do what I did which is to think a little more deeply about things that we all have to deal with on a daily basis. It is to encourage them to think about things that don't just apply to how we deal with the people on death row. My only request is that you refrain from making death threats against me in reaction to what I say. I may be committed to loving all people as a Christian, but in that situation, I would not hesitate to call the police.
Two Wrongs - A Story About Us - Part I - Feelings - From "Arguments About Anger and Parental Love" above.
Two Wrongs - A Story About Us - Part II - Revenge and Personal Integrity
What kind of principles were you taught as you grew up about right and wrong? "Two wrongs don't make a right." That's what my mother always said, and she wasn't alone. Popular expressions at the time were, "Don't stoop to their level" and "Be a bigger person". If an act was wrong, it was wrong. It didn't matter if someone did it to you first. If you had to fight to protect yourself or someone else, that was one thing, but if you did something wrong just to get back at someone for doing wrong to you, that was different. You were actually hurting yourself more than them because it lowered your integrity.
Some people actually get a rise out of making people mad and getting them to lose their temper. It gives them a sense of control. "Don't give them the satisfaction" was an expression that was often used to refer to those people. After I became religious I stopped feeling like I had to get the best of anyone else. If they didn't mind doing damage to their soul, that was their problem. I was going to keep mine pure! If they did something wrong, they would have to answer to God. He would take care of it. I didn't have to do anything. That was quite a relief, too, because I wasn't such a good fighter! I began ignoring the kids that picked on me in school, and after a while, they stopped doing it.
Two Wrongs - A Story about Us - Part III - from "Shooting people with Bible verses" Above
Two Wrongs - A Story about Us - Part IV - Do People Change?
Are you the same person that you were thirty years ago? Do you think and act and feel the same way that you did thirty years ago? If you were given the last thirty years to live over again, can you say that there is nothing that you would change? I hope not, because that means that you haven't learned a damn thing in thirty years! Sometimes the worst punishment is to have to live with something you did that you now regret and can't change. You don't have to be a murderer to know what that feels like.
Two Wrongs - A Story about Us - Part V - Considering Time Already Served
What is Justice? I think intellectually people know that there is a difference between Justice and Revenge, but on an emotional level, they still get the two mixed up. The only thing they think about is what Justice may feel like for the victims, but true Justice helps the perpetrator as well. Justice means finding a punishment for the perpetrator that is fair and doesn't go overboard (the true meaning of 'An Eye for an Eye'). It means taking into consideration the amount of punishment that the individual has already experienced before dolling out more. That is why they have a sentence called, "Time Already Served".
Why is it important to care about whether our justice system is fair when it deals with a murderer? Because it is the same justice system that will be dealing with you and I if we are ever on trial for something. The system is anything but fair because it is not consistent in the way it sentences murderers, but that's an issue in itself.
Eventually, she will be back in court again, but this is not your run of the mill death penalty case. She is not being sentenced for the first time right after the murder took place. She has been behind bars for thirty years. Most of her jail time has been in solitary confinement. Thirty years is more time than some murderers served before they were released from jail. However, that was not all that she went through. She had to live for years with the belief that she was going to die by execution. I once heard it said that people who are executed don't just die one time. They are executed thousands of times in their imaginations before it actually happens. It is mental torture that no one ever considers.
Then the day actually came when she was walked down a chamber, strapped to a gurney and told to say her final goodbyes. While waiting to die, she had to be poked seven times before they found a vein. She was still conscious when her arm felt like it was going to explode. She woke up with injuries and confusion. They say her recovery will be a long one. I can't imagine how the people who are looking for revenge don't feel like they have already gotten it. To me, attempting to put her to death for the third time is not just unmerciful - it would be unjust.
Two Wrongs - A Story about Us - Part VI - Forgiveness - Sentenced to Time Jesus Already Served
"If you stand before the power of hell and death is at your side, know that I am with you through it all!" Those lyrics are from one of my favorite hymns, "Be Not Afraid" by Michael Talbot. (Susan Mary Featro, a cantor, sings and plays a beautiful piano version of it on her Facebook page.) I was a freshman in high school when I first heard those words. I interpreted them as meaning that even if I was about to die in a state of mortal sin, the Lord would still be with me, with no anger, no vengeance, no malice, just deep love, just trying to save me. I wanted that kind of love because I needed that kind of love, but to get that kind of love, you have to be willing to give that kind of love. The Bible tells us that we are all sinners, but Jesus came down to serve our sentence for us before the sin was even committed! He asks only two things in return - for repentance and to extend that forgiveness to others.
The older I get, the more I appreciate the need for forgiveness. There are only two things in life that are more certain than taxes and death: that you will be hurt by others and that you will hurt others, not just once but over and over again. The greatest irony is that the people who you are most likely to hurt and be hurt by are those who are closest to you. The more you realize how imperfect you are, the more you realize how necessary it is to forgive others. But what if the wrong that is done is extraordinarily hurtful? What if the offense is so horrendous that it calls for much more than the ordinary run of the mill type of forgiveness that we all have to give to each other every day?
I believe that forgiveness is often a process rather than an event. The first step may be to simply refrain from ripping someone's head off when you first find out what they did. Maybe that's the best that you can do in the very beginning. I believe that God always wants us to try to forgive, but He understands how hard it is to work through all the feelings involved, and He understands that it is going to take time.
What does forgiving mean? Does forgiving mean that you go back to the way things were, acting as though nothing happened? Not always. You can't go back to living with a spouse who keeps beating you. Does it mean shielding someone from the consequences of their actions? Not always. The first thing that family members of substance abusers are told is that continuing to bail someone out is only going to enable an addiction than could end up killing them. A parole board has a difficult job because they have to decide not only whether a prisoner has paid their debt to society but whether they are still a threat to that society. That being said, I believe that the anger, vengeance and bitterness that we hold onto can grow into a poison that hurts us more than the person we are angry with.
"Well, I bet you wouldn't feel that way if it was your child who was killed..." Maybe not, but some people in that situation have already proven that forgiving what seems to be unforgiveable really is possible. Not too many years back, a man entered an Amish schoolhouse and shot a bunch of girls. Their parents forgave him.
There was recently a lifetime movie that came out called, "I Am MaryJo Buttafuoco". Mary Jo Buttafuoco forgave Amy Fisher for the cold, calculated, pre-meditated attempt to take her life by shooting her in the head. Mary Jo showed up at Amy's parole hearing. She could have easily made the argument that Amy should be kept locked up, but instead she supported her parole. "You've been given a second chance." She said to Amy. "Use it wisely."
There was once a documentary about a trial for several white boys who lynched a black boy because of racial hate. During the trial one of the boys turned to the victim's mother and asked her to forgive him for what he did. The mother replied, "Son, I have already forgiven you." The reporter telling the story said that there wasn't a dry eye in the courtroom after she said that.
There will always be people who will throw Bible verses around and preach about what it means to be a Christian, but some of them don't sound like they have much love in their hearts. Real-life examples like the ones above are what move me to say, "Now that's what I call a Christian!"
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