"A friend loves at all times..." (Proverbs 17:17)
"Boy, that was really disturbing!" I thought, as I sat back in the pew at mass. Not my typical reaction to the reading of the gospel. We had just listened to Matthew 10:34-36: in which Jesus tells his disciples, "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's enemies will be those of his own household". How could this God of peace and love come to set us against our families? And don't the mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws have enough challenges as it is?
Does Jesus want us to be fighting with each other? I don't think so, or he wouldn't have said "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God" (Matthew 5:9). But if we choose to follow him there may be some people around us who aren't happy about it, and we have to do it anyway.
No one likes conflict, especially not with the people closest to us, but its been around since Cain and Able. We could probably eliminate it if everyone was exactly the same, but that's not the way God made us. Perhaps in and of itself, conflict is not always a bad thing. Imagine if there was only one perspective. How could we generate new ideas for solving problems? What if everyone just accepted the status quo, never questioning the way we do things or pushing for a change? How could things ever get better? If everyone had been content with a horse-drawn carriage, we would have never invented the car.
The passage above sounds a lot like what is happening in our country right now, only the precipitator of the division is a lot less significant than Jesus. The division between political parties is tearing apart families and friendships. It is leading to anger, hatred and violence. It is no longer safe for us to even talk to each other. What is at the bottom of this? I believe it is fear. Instead of celebrating our differences, we feel terribly threatened by them. Fortunately, the Bible tells us that perfect love casts out fear (1 John: 4:18).
The solution lies in our call to love one another as Jesus loves us - at all times and in all circumstances. We have to love each other when we don't see eye to eye, when we are angry with each other and when we feel distant from one another. St. Francis described it beautifully, "Oh Master. grant that I may never seek, so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood, as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my soul!"
No one argues more frequently or passionately than the characters Archie and Mike in the TV show "All in the Family". However, when Mike leaves Archies house for the last time before taking his family to California, he says to Archie, "I know you think I hated you, but I didn't. I loved you." Then he puts his arms around Archie. The look on Archie's face reveals that he is deeply moved. He slowly reaches one arm around Mike and says, "Have a good trip". If those two can love each other through their differences, everyone can!
Maybe you and I see life with two different visions, and neither one of us is wrong or right. And maybe we're too serious and don't wanna listen. I just wanna make you laugh tonight.
We're like day and night, night and day. We are both so different in so many ways. We're like night and day, day and night, and we go together just like black and white.
And if we never really get the picture right, how many of us ever really win the fight? I never want to loose your love, or let the distance get the best of us, 'cause time is moving fast enough!
Maybe we don't always share a common opinion. It's true that you and I don't think alike. But when I look into you eyes and all is forgiven, all I wanna do is hold you tight.
Lyrics from the song "Night and Day" by Bette Midler (1991)
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