Remembering Aunt Mary

I remember writing a letter to Aunt Mary when I was 15 or 16 years old, telling her about some of the things I was struggling with in my adolescence. I could talk to my mother, but sometimes you just want to confide in someone new, and Aunt Mary was so understanding and accepting. By that point in time, she had gone from merely being my cousins' mother to being my friend.  

Today I remember my father's sister, Mary Myers McDonnell, on the day of her birth. Aunt Mary was the youngest of Grandmom and Grandpop's children. She had four siblings: Jack, Bob, Joe and Claire. Claire was only a few years older than she was, so the two played together when they were small. Aunt Mary was about thirteen years younger than Dad, so she and Claire were flower girls at his wedding. 

Aunt Mary married a Marine named Denny McDonnell and had three children: Krissie, Danny and Jamie. Krissie and I were the same age, and we played together during family gatherings. Sometime in the early 70's, Aunt Mary became a single mother when Denny left her. Dealing with the break up of her marriage was one of the most difficult things that Aunt Mary went through. There is a song called "Someone that I used to love" by Natalie Cole. Aunt Mary said that song reminded her of her feelings about her relationship with Denny. However, Aunt Mary didn't sit around dwelling on the person who left. Instead, she redirected her attention onto the people who were still there. Warmth emanated from her to all of those around. She was always saying something uplifting and supportive.  She was the poster child for gentleness and patience. She drew strength from her faith, referring to God as "the Boss." 

In 1975, Grandmom moved across the street from us. Aunt Claire and Uncle Leroy first shared the house with her, then  moved into their own house down the road. We then began to frequently see Aunt Mary and her kids. They came up from Bristol where they lived. Aunt Mary earned extra money down there by cleaning people's houses. She came up to visit Grandmom and Grandpop during every school vacation, and several times in the summer. Once when I was in fourth grade, all the schools in Pennsylvania closed from Thursday through Monday because of a gasoline shortage. Rather than conserving gas, Aunt Mary took the opportunity to drive up and see Grandmom! 

My happiest childhood days were when I heard that she and the kids were coming. That meant that for a few days I would have playmates, and boy did we play! Krissie and I would put on long dresses and play "Little House on the Prairie". We would also run through the pine trees with the boys, playing "Hide and Go Seek". We did things like taking turns rolling down the hill in a huge box and jumping off the hood of Aunt Mary's car into a big pile of sand. I actually don't remember doing that. I just remember drawing a picture of the car and the sand with my crayons when I was eight. The picture was part of a letter that I sent to the kids after they left. Under the picture was a caption that read, "We had fun." 

I had always dreamed of how great it would be if Aunt Mary and her kids moved into the area. In 1980 the dream came true. Aunt Mary bought a house in Orwigsburg and since we had lost Grandpop that summer, Grandmom moved in with her. From that point on, every birthday in the Myers, Scheffler and McDonnell families was celebrated with a big party that the whole family attended, and on Christmas Eve, everyone would gather at Aunt Mary's house after mass. In the summer we all went  to Knoebel's Amusement Park. 

Aunt Mary was the only adult I ever knew who had to sneek out of her own house to go places. I can't remember exactly why, but it probably had something to do with Grandmom, who could be a "helicopter parent" even after her children were grown. When I was 16, Mom, Aunt Mary and I became like the three musketeers, going everywhere together. We attended a prayer meeting in Adamsdale, and took a class about Psychic Abilities at Penn State. Aunt Mary would meet Mom and I at a movie theatre in Orwigsburg called the Orpheum. After the movie we would stand on the corner, talking and talking. The few times when Grandmom came along, it didn't turn out well. If there was any foul language in the movie, Grandmom would become offended and leave the theatre. Aunt Mary would then have to take her home. That was a problem because by the '80's, it was hard to find a movie that didn't have any bad language in it. 

In the years following, Aunt Mary watched her family grow as her children formed new relationships and brought children and step-children of their own into the family. It was easy to see her pride when she danced with Danny at his wedding.  

In 1997, Aunt Mary joined the long list of people who we lost to cancer, however, that was not the end of her story. There were many times throughout my life when I felt like I was getting a message from someone on the other side. A significant number of those messages seemed to come from Aunt Mary. Aunt Mary deeply loved angels. She was almost obsessed with them. So every time I saw one, I naturally thought of her.

Years after Aunt Mary died, I took a ride on the Cosmotron at Knoebel's. I used to get on that ride with Krissie, Danny and Jamie when we were teenagers. It was our favorite ride. We used to get on it over and over again. Once Aunt Mary got on it with us. She sat in the seat right in front of me. I found myself instantly reminiscing about that day. I had vivid memories of  Aunt Mary sitting in front of me on that ride. After getting off the ride, I left "Memory Lane" behind and wandered into a nearby gift shop. My attention was drawn to some trinkets that had angels on them. What a coincidence to see angels right after thinking about Aunt Mary! Looking through the trinkets, I almost fainted when I came upon one that read, "Watching over Danny". Continuing to look through them, I found another that read, "Watching over Kris". Am I observing a pattern here or what? I couldn't find any with "Jamie" on them but by that point in time I had gotten the idea. I bought the trinkets and gave them to Krissie and Danny the next Christmas, with notes that explained when and where I came upon them. "It was too big of a coincidence to be just a coincidence," I said to Krissie. "She wanted you and your brothers to know that she's watching over you."